For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt'!
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack
Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, who married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.
The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva
Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip
Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe
Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living
with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as
Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt,
and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken
Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt,
were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the
Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in
the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens
children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt', you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
