And God Created West
Virginia
God was missing for six
days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found
him, resting on the seventh
day. He inquired, "Where have you been?"
God smiled deeply and
proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
"Look, Michael... Look what
I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is
it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it... I'm going
to
call it Earth and it's going to be a place to
test balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still
confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For
example,
northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and
wealth,
while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed
a
continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black
people.
Balance in all things.
God continued pointing
to different countries. "This one will be
extremely hot, while this one will
be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work,
then pointed to a land
area and said, "What's
that one?"
"That's West Virginia, the most glorious place on earth. There
are
beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and
plains.
The people from West Virginia are going to be handsome,
modest,
intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the
world.
They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving,
carriers
of peace, and producers of good things."
Michael gasped in
wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what
about balance, God? You
said there would be balance..."
God smiled, "Right next to West Virginia
is Washington, DC.
Wait
till you see the idiots I
put there."
