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cajuncoot
SSXSRider Member
cajuncoot

Number of posts : 3773
Registration date : 2008-03-25
Age : 59
Location : new carlisle ohio

redneck church Empty
PostSubject: redneck church   redneck church EmptySat Jul 24, 2010 8:50 am

1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - The finance
committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier
because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - People ask,
when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass
or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - When the pastor
says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys
and two women stand up.

4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - Opening day of
deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - A member of the
church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't
never been in a hole it couldn't me get out of" (Love it!)

6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - The choir is
known as the "OK Chorale."

7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - In a
congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the
church directory.

8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - People think
"rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - The baptismal
pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.

10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - The choir robes
were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.



11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - The collection
plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - Instead of a
bell you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - The minister
and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - The communion
wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink."

15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - "Thou shall
not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if - The final
words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear."


God Bless and don't fergit ta say yer prayers!

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Gimpy
SSXSRider Member
Gimpy

Number of posts : 7601
Registration date : 2009-10-01
Location : Louisville, KY

redneck church Empty
PostSubject: Re: redneck church   redneck church EmptySat Jul 24, 2010 10:21 am

thatsright There's a church near us called Heart of Fire. When the sermon starts, that is the sign for the beer can tabs to open. He say's they have doctors, lawyers but mostly blue collar in the congragation. I see most ride Harley's too. Sounds like I should try them some day when I slow down.
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http://lwurzel@twc.com
Foxfire
SSXSRider Member
Foxfire

Number of posts : 6060
Registration date : 2008-04-01
Age : 68
Location : Bristol, Wisconsin

redneck church Empty
PostSubject: Re: redneck church   redneck church EmptySat Jul 24, 2010 12:18 pm

Can I get an Amen Brother Question Exclamation
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nocerisdave
SSXSRider Member
nocerisdave

Number of posts : 5674
Registration date : 2008-01-22
Age : 53
Location : Laceys Spring AL

redneck church Empty
PostSubject: Re: redneck church   redneck church EmptySat Jul 24, 2010 11:35 pm

True story. I went to school with a guy whos Toyota 4x4 was burned in a garage fire. Its buried in his back yard.......with a tombstone. A big tombstone.
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mason
SSXSRider Member
mason

Number of posts : 2247
Registration date : 2009-04-07
Age : 64
Location : austinville,va

redneck church Empty
PostSubject: Re: redneck church   redneck church EmptySun Jul 25, 2010 8:56 am

AMEN welcome
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