> A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little
> perch.
>
> It doesn't have any feet or legs.
>
> The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'
>
> The parrot says, 'I was born this way.
>
> I'm a defective parrot.'
>
> 'Holy crap,' the guy replies.
>
> 'You actually understood and answered me. !'
>
> 'I got every word,' says the parrot.
>
> 'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'
>
> 'Oh yeah?' the guy asks.
>
> 'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?'
>
> 'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked,
> I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.
>
> You can't see it, because of my feathers.'
>
> 'Wow,' says the guy.
>
> 'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?'
>
> 'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
> reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics,
> philosophy.
>
> I'm especially good at ornithology.
>
> You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'
>
> The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.
>
> 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'
>
> 'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody
> wants me, cause I don't have any feet.
>
> You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer.!'
>
> The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot.
>
> Weeks go by.
>
> The parrot is sensational.
>
> He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he
> understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
>
> The guy is delighted.
>
> One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes,
> 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.
>
> 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife,
> and the UPS man.'
>
> 'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.
>
> 'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the
> door, in a sheer black nightie.'
>
> 'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.
>
> 'THEN what happened?'
>
> 'Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie,
> and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.
>
> 'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?'
>
> 'Yes.
>
> Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began
> to kiss her all over.'
>
> Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'
>
> DUNNO?!? I got a hard-on, and fell off my perch.!'
>
