Three old men are drinking coffee one morning and discussing life and bodily functions.
The first old man says, "I hate being old. I wake up at five o'clock every morning to piss and I have to stand there for twenty minutes before I can even get a stream started."
The second old man says, "You think that's bad? I wake up at six o'clock to crap. I sit on the toilet and push for thirty minutes before I finally start pooping."
The third old man speaks up and says, "That's nothing. Every morning at five I piss like a race horse and then at six I crap like a heifer on laxatives."
The first two men stare blankly at the third. One of them says, "How is that a problem?"
"Well you see, I don't wake up until seven," replies the third old man.
:ROFLMAO:ROFLMAO