>>> 6:00 Alarm
>>>
>>> 6:30 Massive, satisfying dump while reading the sports section
>>> 7:00 Breakfast steak and eggs, coffee and toast - all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot.
>>>
>>> 7:30 Limo arrives
>>>
>>> 7:45 Couple of ice-cold beers en route to the airport
>>>
>>> 9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet - finest Scotch served in crystal sniffer from green-eyed redhead with huge tits
>>>
>>> 9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club
>>>
>>> 9:45 Play front nine (2 under par)
>>>
>>> 11:45 Lunch-steak and lobster, couple of ice-cold beers and bottle of Dom Perignon
>>>
>>> 12:20 Breaking News: Jesse Jackson discovered to be on Malaysia flight 370
>>>
>>> 12:30 Play back nine (4 under)
>>>
>>> 2:15 Limo back to airport- (several bourbons)
>>>
>>> 2:30 Fly to Bahamas
>>>
>>> 2:40 News Flash: Nancy Pelosi's plane shot down over Syria, apprehended by Isis
>>>
>>> 3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude
>>>
>>> 4:30 Land world record Marlin (234lbs)-on light tackle
>>>
>>> 5:00 Fly home, massage by naked Elle McPherson
>>>
>>> 6:45 Shit, shower and shave
>>>
>>> 6:55 News Flash: Harry Reid Announced as America's 3rd Ebola victim
>>>
>>> 7:00 Watch news - Al Sharpton assassinated
>>>
>>> 7:30 Dinner – lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy filet steak followed by ice cream
>>>
>>> 9:40 News Flash: Eric Holder and entourage missing after speaking engagement in Jackson, Mississippi
>>>
>>> 11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing ice-cold beer
>>>
>>> 11:30 Night-cap
>>>
>>> 11:35 Obama resigns
>>>
>>> 11:45 In bed alone
>>>
>>> 11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
>>>
>>> 11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep....can't wait for tomorrow
