SouthernSxSRiders
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.


Most come for the information and opportunity. Most stay for the friendships that are formed. Welcome!


 
GalleryHomePortalLatest imagesRegisterLog in

 

 Can you tell the front from the back of a tree?

Go down 
3 posters
AuthorMessage
GunRunner
SSXSRider Member
GunRunner


Number of posts : 5296
Registration date : 2008-01-22
Age : 70
Location : North Georgia,

Can you tell the front from the back of a tree? Empty
PostSubject: Can you tell the front from the back of a tree?   Can you tell the front from the back of a tree? EmptyMon Dec 08, 2008 5:30 pm

A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE SOUTH TO VIRGINIA TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY.

WHEN HE GETS TO FRANKLIN , HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A JOB!!!!

HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE AND FILLS OUT AN APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR. IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!! THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT FIRST, THE LOG FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN THE COMPANY PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH HE KNOWS.

THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND POINTS AT A TREE 'SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT CONTAINS.'

THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, 'THAT THAR'S A WHITEPINE, 383 BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IN 'ER.'

THE FOREMAN IS IMPRE SSED!!! HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION AND STOPS ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION. THIS TIME, IT'S A BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.

'THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR BOARD FEET.'

THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY, HE HAS BEEN QUICK AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A CALCULATOR!!!!

ONE MORE TEST.

THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD, AND THE FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN. THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER SIDE WINDOW AND SAYS, 'AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?'

BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, THE REDNECK SAYS, 'WHITE OAK, 242 BOARD FEET AT BEST.'

THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE OFFICE A LITTLE TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS THE RED NECK IS SMARTER THAN HE IS.

AS THEY NEAR THE OFFICE, THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK AND ASKS BUBBA TO STEP OUTSIDE.

HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM, 'SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?' 'I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT TREE!!'

THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, 'IDIOT, HOW WOULD HE KNOW WHICH IS THE FRONT OF THE TREE?'

WHEN BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A CIRCLE WHILE LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES A WHITE X ON THE TRUNK.

HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK. 'THAT THAR'S THE FRONT,' THE REDNECK SAYS.

THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY, 'HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?'

THE GOOD OL' BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS LEFT BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES, 'CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A SHIT BEHIND IT.


HE GOT THE JOB AND IS NOW THE FOREMAN!!!!!
Back to top Go down
http://southernrzrriders.com
Guest
Guest
Anonymous



Can you tell the front from the back of a tree? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Can you tell the front from the back of a tree?   Can you tell the front from the back of a tree? EmptyMon Dec 08, 2008 5:58 pm

lol! That's some funny poo !!
Back to top Go down
ChrisC
SSXSRider Member
ChrisC


Number of posts : 5483
Registration date : 2008-06-30
Age : 58
Location : Marietta GA

Can you tell the front from the back of a tree? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Can you tell the front from the back of a tree?   Can you tell the front from the back of a tree? EmptyMon Dec 08, 2008 6:22 pm

.................... cheers
Back to top Go down
roamerr
SSXSRider Member
roamerr


Number of posts : 481
Registration date : 2008-02-04
Age : 54
Location : King, NC

Can you tell the front from the back of a tree? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Can you tell the front from the back of a tree?   Can you tell the front from the back of a tree? EmptyMon Dec 08, 2008 10:15 pm

Really good...
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content





Can you tell the front from the back of a tree? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Can you tell the front from the back of a tree?   Can you tell the front from the back of a tree? Empty

Back to top Go down
 
Can you tell the front from the back of a tree?
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» front of a tree
» Monday Funny: The Front Side Of A Tree!
» Bacon Tree
» 700 Rhino stock A Arms Front Spindles Front Brake line
» Tree Hugger

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
SouthernSxSRiders :: General :: The Comedy Zone-
Jump to: