Pennsylvania - ~Three Reported Missing After Animal Rights Activists Take "War
on Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally.~
Johnstown, PA: Local and state
police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after re...ports of
three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the
wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others,
previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped
inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police
officials.
"Something just went wrong," said a still visibly shaken
organizer of the protest. "Something just went horribly, horribly,
wrong."
The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist
groups, "growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older
women wearing leather or fur coats," decided to protest the annual motorcycle
club event "in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in
their clothing and motor bike seats." "In fact," said the organizer. "Motorcycle
gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was
high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it... Ergo,
they should stop."
According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the
event in a vintage 1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members
with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting
"you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha
began.
"They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said
I looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped me to
a tree so they could pee on me all day!"
"I... I was trying to show my
outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket. And, he... he didn't even care. I
called him a murderer, and all he said was, 'You can't prove that.' Next thing I
know is he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and not left
me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a
woman."
Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot
dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several
bikers "farted on their heads."
Police officials declined comments on any
leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however,
organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the
allegations.
"That's preposterous," said on high ranking member of the
biker organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed up
and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to
ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What
could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of
motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I
think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about
us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome."
When
confronted with the allegations of force feeding the activists meat, using them
as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant
dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer declined to comment in
detail. "That's just our secret handshake," assured the organizer.
