GunRunner SSXSRider Member
Number of posts : 5296 Registration date : 2008-01-22 Age : 70 Location : North Georgia,
| Subject: Church Bulletin Bloopers Mon Mar 01, 2010 2:15 pm | |
| Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: -------------------------- The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals. -------------------------- The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.' -------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. -------------------------- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you. -------------------------- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. -------------------------- Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. -------------------------- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. -------------------------- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. -------------------------- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. -------------------------- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. -------------------------- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice. -------------------------- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. -------------------------- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. -------------------------- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. -------------------------- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility. -------------------------- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. -------------------------- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. -------------------------- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. -------------------------- Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. -------------------------- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. -------------------------- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. ------------------------- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. -------------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.. Please use large double door at the side entrance. -------------------------- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.' | |
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CaptMorgansgirl SSXSRider Member
Number of posts : 1573 Registration date : 2008-07-30 Age : 51 Location : Scott Depot, West Virginia
| Subject: Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers Mon Mar 01, 2010 8:21 pm | |
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Gimpy SSXSRider Member
Number of posts : 7708 Registration date : 2009-10-01 Location : Louisville, KY
| Subject: Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers Mon Mar 01, 2010 8:42 pm | |
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| Subject: Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers | |
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