*AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES*
1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF
BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE
WILl INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY
GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU
CHOP.
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE
TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF
AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE
ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL
PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP
AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES.
THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF
IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T
MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO
KNOW THEM.
9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN
ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
